2024 NFL Mock Draft (April Fools Edition)

The NFL Draft is fast approaching and there are some people to get drafted to NFL Teams. So, I have decided to make a mock draft because those have been growing over the past few years.

Now keep in mind there will be no trades involved with this mock draft as I feel it is too early for mock drafts to introduce trades. Plus, the NFL banned trades from occurring in the draft, so don't expect for them to show up here. So, let's get started with the Chicago Bears who are now on the clock.

1. Chicago Bears (from Carolina Panthers) - QB Cam Newton, Auburn

The Chicago Bears pulled off the heist of the century by acquiring the Panthers 1st round pick. They then have the opportunity to take their future QB with this pick which would potentially torment the Panthers for many long years.

Not only does the Bears steal the Panthers 1st round pick, but they will also steal the greatest quarterback that this team has ever had by selecting Cam Newton. His arm strength is gone, but he has the diva qualities that have been missing for a while at that QB position.

The Chicago Bears will send a thank you card to Carolina while they walk up to the podium.

2. Washington Commanders - F/C Joel Embiid, Philadelphia 76ers

With the absolute disgrace known as Dan Snyder finally gone, the Commanders have competent ownership. Their new owner Josh Harris owns other sports organizations including the New Jersey Devils and of course the Philadelphia 76ers.

With this pick and his known relationship with his players, to finally find the QB of the future, Josh Harris has to trust one of his main stars from his team. One guy he can trust the most is Joel Embiid.

He was shown to be the face of the Philadelphia 76ers franchise when the Ben Simmons saga came to an end. Plus, he has the arm talent when it comes to shooting a basketball and that can easily translate when he throws the football.

Yes, Embiid has trouble with injuries, but with how tall he is and how talented he is playing. He is way too good for Josh Harris to pass on in this upcoming draft class.

3. New England Patriots - LB Mo Lewis, (Georgia)

Mo Lewis was one of the most underrated parts of the Patriots when their Dynasty began with Tom Brady. He was the one who hit Drew Bledsoe which resulted in his injury and Brady's introduction to the NFL. Lewis needs to be rewarded for doing this. With how expensive Top 3 pick rookie contracts are, let's select Mo and reward him with a lot of money.

While he may be 54 years old, he can help the Patriots linebacker core and provide a ton of power when hitting offensive players. Jerod Mayo played linebacker and had an eye for talent at linebacker, so he could help Lewis play like he did in his prime.

4. Arizona Cardinals - WR Reggie Wayne, Miami (FL)

Ahh, you all thought that the Cardinals were going to take Marvin Harrison's Kid. No, no, no, we are getting the other Colts wide receiver who was a big part of that Superbowl 41 Colts squad. His name is Reggie Wayne.

Now yes, he has not played an NFL game in almost a decade and is 45 years old, but it makes sense knowing the Arizona Cardinals' history. They always sign a bunch of older players to come play for them. They're often called the NFL's Retirement Home and why not strengthen that reputation by drafting Reggie Wayne? They're

Getting Wayne does give Kyler Murray a receiver to throw to, so they conquer both goals with this selection. Nobody can lose.

5. Los Angeles Chargers - QB J.J. McCarthy, Michigan

With Jim Harbaugh's return to the NFL, he is going to bring much-needed changes to the Chargers organization. Which means he is going to bring all of his guys into the organization. A big part of Michigan's success lately is how well QB J.J. McCarthy played and of course he will be too good to pass on at this spot.

Who cares if the Chargers got Justin Herbert, he won't know the system more than McCarthy does. It's best to draft McCarthy now and get a premium package for Justin Herbert in a trade to help with their rebuild.

6. New York Giants - QB Spencer Rattler (South Carolina)

Ahh the 6th pick in the draft. A usual time for the Giants to reach on a QB like they did last time drafting Daniel Jones who was graded as a 3rd/4th round prospect. Hey, that is the same grade Spencer Rattler has been getting recently.

The dude was one projected to be a 1st overall pick years ago, so Green Light here. Time to focus on the future and present as Daniel Jones is not the franchise QB and can barely stay healthy.

7. Tennessee Titans - RB Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, (Eton College)

The Titans lost royalty this offseason when King Henry departed the team at running back. The Titans lost a weapon at running back and also lost some notable royalty. While they signed Tony Pollard this free agency, the Titans are missing some Royalty.

They can easily get one, by drafting the Duke of Sussex, Prince Harry (the Carson Wentz lookalike) to play for this team. He would be a great addition to the culture of this team and help the Titans keep their royalty label.

8. Atlanta Falcons - D Chris Chelios, Atlanta Thrashers

The Atlanta Falcons spent a lot of money in the offseason on the offensive side of the football and need to focus on the defense. It is time to get a player who has managed to still play hockey at the age of 48 and make the majors. No i am not talking about Jaromir Jagr as he is still playing in Kladno, but we are talking Atlanta Thrashers Legend Chris Chelios.

While he maybe 62 years old today, Chelios still has a lot of the strong defensive skills that you need in the NFL. Imagine how he could have been if he entered the NFL Draft when he was younger, but the Falcons drafting him now will help this team out.

Heck maybe getting Chelios will get people to remember the NHL's Atlanta Thrashers and get them to return once the NHL realizes the Arizona Coyotes need to relocate.

9. Chicago Bears - LB Luke Kuechly (Boston College)

Oh, it is not just Cam Newton or the 1st Overall Pick that the Bears are going to steal from the Carolina Panthers. No, the Bers are going to steal one of the greatest Panthers defensive players of all time, by drafting Luke Kuechly. The Bears will strengthen their linebacker core and once again rob the Carolina Panthers.

The Bears once again send their Thank you Cards to Carolina for the opportunity to make these selections happen.

10. New York Jets - QB Christian Hackenberg, Penn State

The Jets got to keep an eye on the future. Tyrod Taylor can't stay healthy, Aaron Rodgers is in his 40's, and Zach Wilson is pretty much done in New York. They need to take a QB in this draft and the best way to do it is to select Christian Hackenberg.

Hackenberg has got a rocket arm and the best in the draft class. Thats all you need in the NFL. Who cares about those other qualities that are needed to succeed in the NFL, He is worth it alone just to finally secure a Rocket Arm-type quarterback on the roster. just ignore his film in the Alliance of American Football League That's Rodgers's?

Heck he can even be tasked to concuss reporters on the sidelines that try to destroy Aaron Rodgers credibility and reputation with their false reporting. So, he's useful for the Jets and in Aaron Rodgers'sRodgers's Innercircle.

11. Minnesota Vikings - HC/QB Kevin O'Connell (San Diego State)

The Vikings have to find a QB that they can depend on with Kirk Cousins's departure. With their head coach Kevin O'Connell playing as a QB in the NFL, we are going to stun the league by drafting him and making O'Connell into a hybrid coach/player.

If Nate Scarborough can do it in The Longest Yard, why not have Kevin O'Connell do it in the NFL? It is Life imitating Art, and it can work for the Minnesota Vikings.

12. Denver Broncos - QB/WR Kendall Hinton (Wake Forest)

The Russell Wilson saga has come to an end as both sides decided to part ways. With How wrecked the Broncos are with their Salary Cap, they are really screwed. So, the Broncos are going to need a hybrid player to replace Wilson and Jerry Jeudy.

The Broncos decided to draft a player who can play at QB and WR. His name is Kendall Hinton he is somehow available to draft in this class. Remember the guy who stepped up to the plate when the Broncos were wrecked with Covid? Imagine a full offseason of developing him to be the franchise QB. He had not played QB in a while and getting 13 passing yards is tough for limited practice time.

With a further offseason to develop and a more competent coach in Sean Payton, this will work a lot better.

13. Las Vegas Raiders - P Tory Taylor, Iowa

The Raiders have previously drafted Special Teamers in the first round by drafting Ray Guy and Sebastian Janikowski. While the Raiders have AJ Cole punting for them, why not add some not add healthy competition by selecting Tory Taylor who is easily the best punter in the draft.

If it worked twice, it would surely work three times in a row.

14. New Orleans Saints - LB Bobby Boucher (South Central Louisiana State University)

This Bobby Boucher kid put South Central Louisiana State University. he is beloved in the state of Louisiana and riots may occur if the Saints do not draft this kid to stay in Loisnana. Well luckily for the Saints he is available to draft 14th overall and will easily be the face of the defense.

15. Indianapolis Colts - WR/KR Dale Earnhardt Jr. (Nascar)

It never hurts to get some speed on the team and the Colts could use some, especially at wide receiver as excluding Michael Pittman the Colts have no depth. So, why not get Dale Earnhardt Jr. to come join the team?

There are rumors that this guy has gone 215 miles per hour which is just unheard of in this day and age. Anyone would desperately want that speed and keep getting in the triple digits. I'm shocked the Olympics would not accept him on their track team with how fast he goes.

The one negative though is that he has an issue drawing flags when it comes to his performances. It seems like he lives that flags are thrown on the football field and likes to commit penalties to see them fly all over the place. Besides that, his speed makes him useful to be on special teams in a Devin Hester-type role.

A win-win move for both sides.

16. Seattle Seahawks - QB Bo Callahan (University of Wisconsin)

Is Geno Smith the Franchise QB? I have no idea, but the Seattle Seahawks have to keep an eye on the future. One guy the Seattle Seahawks have their eye on at Quarterback is Bo Callahan. He was once viewed as a Number 1 overall pick and there are rumors the organization likes this kid.

Now it is a risky pick as there are allegations that he does not read the playbooks, isn't the greatest locker room guy, and that he's got a website regarding the women he has been with. Kind of creepy, but the risks could be worth the reward to get Seattle back to a Superbowl.

17. Jacksonville Jaguars - CB Bryan Danielson (Shawn Michaels Wrestling Academy)

The Jacksonville Jaguars suffered a severe collapse after having the division on their hands, too out of the playoffs. The Jags also are in desperate need of some secondary help. One name that makes a lot of sense is The American Dragon, Bryan Danielson.

Danielson has a very close connection to Tony Khan who is the son of owner Shahid Khan. Both are heavily involved behind the scenes of All Elite Wrestling (AEW) and he can be super trustworthy in maintaining the locker room of that team. Heck, he can even lay down the law as well when it comes to those not fitting into the culture.

With how versatile, flexible, and charismatic Danielson is, it is a fantastic fit.

18. Cincinnati Bengals - LF Pete Rose (Pete Rose Betting Association)

Many sports leagues are starting to crack down on gambling in sports. This has got the Bengals to want to ensure that teams know the rules of the policy, so what the Bengals decided to do is draft a legend of the city. His name is Pete Rose.

He was a stellar baseball player and can easily translate in football too. This time he learned from the Pete Rose Betting Association which teaches a lot about sports and the behind the scenes of betting.

While there are rumors that Pete Rose will recruit people to join his Betting Association, Rose will be willing to make a big impact in Cincinnati Sports in Football as well.

19. Los Angeles Rams - D Cale Makar, (Colorado Avalanche)

The Los Angeles Rams lost their face of the defense when Aaron Donald retired. Luckily Stan Kroenke has connections to help fix their defense with his ownership of the Denver Nuggets and especially the Colorado Avalanche.

The face of the Avalanche defense Cale Makar would help the Rams replace Aaron Donald. While his speed might go down with him not skating in football, his defensive skills will easily translate to the NFL. Plus, Kroenke can easily attract Colorado Avalanche fans to come to watch Makar play at Sofi Stadium.

20. Pittsburgh Steelers - WR Calvin Broadus Jr. (Long Beach Polytechnic High School)

Oh, you thought that the Steelers were kidding last year's April Fools. No there is a Calvin Broadus in this draft class, and we have a firm scouting report on him. While most of the details involve music that goes by the code name of Snoop Dogg, he knows how to adapt and take advantage of the opportunities given to him.

The one concern is that Broadus wants his pal Martavis Bryant back in the locker room as both have admitted to trying and give up "smoke". It is the Steelers' way to help bring a talented person and player like Calvin Broadus.

21. Miami Dolphins - P Christiano Ronaldo (Portugal)

There were rumors that this pick was going to be Lionel Messi, but due to his commitments and Iron Clad contract Cristiano Ronaldo with Miami FC, he declined to participate in this draft. Plan B for the Miami Dolphins is to bring Christiano Ronaldo to be a part of the Miami Dolphins.

He is phenomenal when he kicks the football and can be utilized as a hybrid punter/kicker type player. This pick will help reach the European Market in Portugal and save a roster spot on their team. This pick is a big win-win for Miami.

22. Philadelphia Eagles - PG/PF Ben Simmons (LSU)

Jason Kelce announced his retirement, and they need to get a center on this team. While Ben Simmons does not have a ton of experience in that role, what he does have is power, which is a must at the Center position, and experience playing in the state of Pennsylvania.

Now there is concern of his back injuries as they are not a joke dealing with. However, if they take their time with him, he should do fine. Just don't force him to do Andy jump shots and he will be fine.

23. Minnesota Vikings (From Cleveland Browns via Houston Texans) - DT Brock Lesnar (University of Minnesota)

Yes, we know it did not work the first time we brought Brock in, but he was injured at that time and TikTokhad not play football for so many years. We can firmly develop him at this time to make him better in the sport. Worse for worse he has experience as a farmer and in training and can help guide the youth on this team. I just hope he does not take us to Suplex City once he is brought into the team.

24. Dallas Cowboys - QB Johnny Manziel (Texas A&M)

Jerry Jones was furious many years ago when the room did not want to draft Manziel in 2013. After many years of frustration, Jerry Jones gets his wish. While Manziel is not in his prime and has not played in a while, what he brings is so much more maturity than he did during his time a Cleveland Brown.

Yes, Dak Prescott will still be the starting quarterback, until playoff time hits, that is when Manziel will shine and get Jerry Jones his Superbowl trophy for Jerry World.

25. Green Bay Packers - Mr. Kennedy (Green Bay, Wisconsin Announcer School)

The Packers need loyalty on this team and one man who is known to respect the Green Bay area is pro wrestler Mr. Kennedy. After all he is a Money in the Bank winner, and we need somebody with experience in ladder matches to helps us.

Why is that the case? Well, I ask this question, why did the Green Bay Packers bring a ladder to the game? Because they wanted to climb the standings! Mr. Kennedy will help out with that goal and can even do some announcing.

26. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - TE Greg Olsen (Miami FL)

Hey Chicago Bears, you stole twice from the Carolina Panthers. Why can't we join in on the funHarrison's? You know what we can steal Carolina Panther legends too. Greg Olsen is on the board, and he used to play for the Chicago Bears. That will teach you and we get the tight end we have been looking for since Rob Gronkowski left.

27. Arizona Cardinals (From Houston Texans) - LB Jerimiah Trotter Jr (Clemson)

Hahaha, you thought we were going to take Marvin Harrison kid here. Fool you once, shame on you fool you twice you're just not thinking. No, we are going to take Jeremiah Trotter's kid here as the Cardinals need a linebacker more than a wide receiver. Who cares if Tre McBride is the only good receiver, he will get all the targets to help his development.

28. Buffalo Bills - Madden Curse Developers (EA Sports)

The Buffalo Bills are the most cursed team in the NFL today. We need to help find a way to break this curse. if there is one person who knows about curses it is the developers of Madden. Even though there lazy and greedy with video games, they can be useful in guiding us on how to break the curse like they did for the Lions last season.

29. Detroit Lions - Dr. Laurent Duvernay Tardif (McGill University)

With all the kneecaps that Dan Campbell and his players have been biting off, the Lions Organization is getting scared as injuries keep racking up for the team. So why not get a hybrid offensive lineman to help protect Jarred Goff from these ankle biters and even treat him on the spot if a player gets to his kneecaps?

His experience playing in football, while juggling a medical career, is just cool. He can help be a leader in the locker room and motivate others. Along with providing medical help for others and advice on proper diets. Well worth it to boost the healthiness of the team.

30. Baltimore Ravens - QB Caleb Williams (USC)

The wait is over, Caleb Williams has finally been drafted. After theirprojected to go 1st overall in the draft Williams fell due to undisclosed reason. The Ravens have Lama Jackson as there QB, but with how talented Williams is he was way too good for them to pass on.

He is the final piece to bring the Ravens to the Superbowl after the team collapsed in the AFC Championship game. Heck he, maybe even put the Ravens in a Tua Tagovialoa and Ryan Fitzpatrick type of role in a Starter/Reliever role.

31. San Francisco 49ers - RB Frank Gore Jr (Southern Miss)

The 49ers greatest running back in franchise history is Frank Gore. His son has been playing in college lately and he has looked solid during his time at Southern Miss. He has had multiple 1,000-yard seasons with the team and has even gotten 10 rushing touchdowns in his latest season.

It would bring such a boost to this San Francisco 49ers offense getting a player like Frank Gore Jr on the team. Plus, what a great story having Gore's son play for the franchise that he played in his prime.

32. Kansas City Chiefs - WR Jackson Mahomes, Tik Tok

The Chiefs have to get some wide receivers for Patrick Mahomes to throw to. They need a guy to help contribute to help lead the league in drops and get someone who is an absolute scumbag. Why not get Jackson Mahomes to join the team and help with both of those.

This kid generates so much buzz on his social media and would help provide clicks on our TikTok accounts with the help of Taylor Swift. Jackson can be the real bad boy on this team. and if he can settle his legal issues that have grown to the point of an actual dictionary, he can be a nice contributor.

So, that is my Mock Draft for the 2024 NFL Draft. The most realistic and dedicated one made in a long time. Let's see if I am right in a few months.

Happy April Fools Everybody!!!

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